was bored and didnt have motivation to do the assignments. After listening to some inspirational songs and talking to someone, i think i should gather enough courage to face it.

Talking about first love, you wake up to think of that person. And constantly finding ways to please the person. Sometimes you just enjoy even the silence in the presence.

After quite a long time, you find that your draining out in pursuing.
When it is so near yet so far, you wished that the other side will understand your plight and what you needed in the person.

What if the other side understood you completely, loved with all everything and have already prepared a great deal of what you ever imagined you would get but it just required you to trust and keep loving.
It might not just come at the end of the journey instead surprises might be hidden like kinder bueno along the way.

Love is patient, love is kind
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Jesus Christ gave His life as a ransom for me.
The harder i fall, the more i want to stretch to reach to Him.
There is nothing too great that can separate this love except our self-thought reaction to failure.

There are alot of reasons for me to just chuck the 'responsibility' of God aside but never the relationship with God.


hm...if i were to be just a normal church going christian without fulfiling my destiny, i wonder what kind of family culture i am going to create. Or even what kind of wife!
i wonder if my present family will hear the gospel
I wonder if i will bring my kids to church or read to them stories from the Bible during their bedtime.
I wonder if i will even be a good husband, am i going to just react like i used to?
if i die, i wonder will they put me beside all the other gods.

I wonder what my future will be without God.
cause i can't imagine

:D think about it

im not afraid you will be unfaithful but im afraid i will.
maybe its the right one just that it is not the right time.

:o test coming

yeah those debates are quite meaningless, chasing after nothing(not even wind!)

go on to these debates hoping to change the opposition's mind somehow, someway but as it goes on both parties just cannot give in to accept one another's view.

Look in a way; what is the intention of it?
to encourage or tear you down?

My advice is don't even reply to the question, soon when it does not have the appeal, it will start to think about its own existance. You can't probably make someone repent through debates, it never worked, as far as i know.

I'm too lazy luh, rather spend time looking at the wall. =D

what did i aspire to be in the first place?

seems like ambition rings louder than the calling. Or is it?
As long as its good in the kingdom's view!

To people who has been affected by those messages of hate and doubts.

The Bible states: See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. Colossians 2:8

See, that person has developed his own christianity based on experiences and the world's idea of how things work or even just tradition that isn't what we believe at all. Those messages causes doubts. Yes it is factual that things are like that in the Bible but some grey are empahsized more and neglecting the other parts, giving half truth that never provide a solution. In the end, the doubts never got an answer, ultimately falling short of God.
You can start to think who would do that; someone following Christ or not.

Wheres the faith and love element?

God i fall short of you, bring me back.
search my heart, let me hate just only the sin.

worship with Ps Henry Seeley was great. The whole atmosphere just made me worshipped without any worries. No one watching no one cares about whether the singing is loud or the pitch no one could hit.

As worship is brought down to a smaller scale, people just cared how u worship BUT we are all taught not to even give a hood to person beside you when you worship. Just worship God the way you do! (well...unless it is really unacceptable as a congregation. Stumbling...so to speak)

Ps Henry inspired me to be like him. Ofcourse, i have other people that really inspired me in the aspect of music.

Galatians 6:1-5
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.

wow this message is amazing! i have to look unto Jesus. Sometime it seems so natural and normal to compare to others but nono, im validated by only God. Only approved by God not anyone's expectation but God.

I have never done my best in anything, even after accepting Christ, yeah everything. By using this "law", i should be guilty of every soul left.
But lets say for example: i done my best(if i really do), the person still chose to go. I am accountable to God but in the eyes of man(or simply in my own eyes), it is not the case. It is still deemed as my fault; the system we planned out failed.
If i haven't done my best but the person is convicted to stay, by men's eyes, i am a successful leader.

just look for God's validation rather than man's. Cutting a finger of a man doesnt do any help for the whole body unless this finger is really rotting badly which can cause harm to the body.

In the same way, hold on to what God placed you in. Giving up doesnt guarantee the situation is gonna be better or even someone can replace you.

your life is not defined by your ministry. But let what you do be glorifying to God; an outward expression of your love.

My life...since the decision which is deadly to my nature was made, changed. What really changed? I can't explain it. Its amazing i know.
There was this time i was so close to God or God is literally the One that i really have or needed.

But things changed, im exposed more to knowledge. I wont say its for the worst but just that intimacy and intensity will not be the same anymore. I trust in God but i know myself too well.

After knowing heaven, i dont wanna know any other place other than that.
What if i become the person that i never wanted to become.

Can You always bring me back to You? When i'm lazy, please motivate me and love me.
Give that bunch of fire, or maybe just that someone to stay alert and lead on.

I pray for people out there to stay passionate, relentless.
Don't let our age, background, peers or anything to determine who we are and what we do. Don't let the "growing-up syndrome" take hold of us!

(: keep moving on

woah never thought that i would need to struggle with this. always thought those stuffs were never for me but i think im just protected.
If it is God's will.. Afterall, its the best for all.

oh, how can i missed the point that it is You who gave me this gift. You are the director of music man! So let these music be inspiring! i think i just dont have the anointing to be worship leader. I know what i should do but abit hard luh.